Hollow Oppression
by marsdemon
Summary: Nothingness, he was nothing, he meant nothing, empty, just an empty space to Him, but then again He was just as empty too. Pain lets Yugi know he is still alive, that this is not a dream, but the sweet numbness are so tempting.


AN: I'm not sure where this came from, I was in a really angsty mood. Anyways, there are hits of Shonen ai here, but very subtle, this is mainly a look into Yugi's and someone else's "romantic" relationship. Just to clarify, when I say "he" I mean Yugi, when I say "He" I mean the other person. Here's a challenge for you, whoever guesses who "He" is first gets a free fic with whatever pairing you want. Or for that matter, any plot that that person wants.  
  
Hollow Oppression  
  
Yugi trembled a little and held back a whimper. He was sitting on a small stool , hands on his knees, not daring to move, not even his little fingers twitched, yet inside he was trembling, shaking violently. The room was dark, the curtains were pulled closed over the large windows, the only light in the darkness was a bit of moonlight filtering through the crack between the heavy navy blue curtains. The light, so cold, it did not reach into the room, too big for the tiny light to survive in the darkness, the thin strip of light fell on the side of Yugi's face not revealing anything in the darkness, only lighting his tiny frame, just a bit, such a cold and cruel light, just like He is.  
  
Yugi was so tired, so emotionally exhausted, too tired to even feel pain or fear any more. He sat trying to keep his back straight and eyes open. This has been going on for so long, he couldn't even remember how long any more, so much time has passed that he lost track of it, it felt like an eternity.  
  
Yugi wanted to move, do something, in a desperate last attempt at rebellion he tried to take a tiny sneak at the clock, find out just how long has he been here, just how long has He tortured him. He would not dare to turn his head, no, He waould see, just a tiny peak with his eyes.  
  
CRACK!  
  
A loud slap rand in the silence of the night, it seemed to almost echo in the emptiness of the large room, emptiness, it seemed everywhere here, why did he come here? Yugi's head was snapped to the side, his hands jerked on reflex but he fisted his fingers forcing his hands to stay on his knees where He told him to keep them.  
  
Reflex, he was sure that he didn't have any more reflex, any more feeling, he was sure that he has gone numb by now, he's been sitting here, enduring this torture for so long he was sure that by now all feeling must've left him, he was wrong. What a pity, because He knew as well as Yugi did that while there was still feeling in the little boy, while there was still a spark of life, of recognition of pain, He would be here until He broke him.  
  
Yugi suppressed a whimper, he could still feel, after all this time, he could still feel, he still wanted to cry, but even now, as he felt the pain, he could feel the numbness creep up on him, he could feel a part of him wondering why should he care if it hurt. A part of him welcomed the numbness, yet another part of him held on to the pain, held on to life and his humanity, the substance that He didn't seem to have.  
  
Yugi sat still, his cheek was stinging but he didn't dare to reach up and rub it. He didn't question, didn't argue, didn't complain.  
  
Once again he found himself sitting in the same stiff position and wondering how much longer he could last, he was so tired, he just wanted to give in, just give up and let the darkness take him. He couldn't close his eyes.  
  
The slap woke him up just a little, reminded him that he was alive, that he could still feel, that he was not like Him. The pain meant that he was still awake, this was not a dream, it was all real. It felt like a dream, like a horrible nightmare.  
  
Yugi knew that He was watching him, He was always watching and Yugi knew that. Yugi could never hide anything from Him, could never lie to Him, never deny Him anything. Yugi could feel bright, cold eyes observing him, studying him, burning holes into his body with His smoldering gaze.  
  
Yugi could not move under that gaze, he wanted to move, shy away, run as far as he could from this place but at the same time he wanted to stay. Why, he knew that he came here on his own, He didn't call him, it didn't matter, he knew that whatever he wanted, he would always end up here, with Him.  
  
This was torturous, brain numbing, overwhelming. The walls seemed to be closing in on him and it didn't matter that the room was huge, the emptiness was just as suffocating to him, he was drowning in it, he couldn't breathe. Yugi tried to take deep slow breaths, he wanted to close his eyes, fall asleep, let the darkness cover him, shelter him, he wanted to fall into the sweet oblivion, forget about the pain, the fear, the oppression. It would feel so good if he could just sleep, but he could never close his eyes, He wouldn't let him rest, He would never let him go, his master, his tormentor, his lover.  
  
Yugi could never close his eyes, if he did, he would miss Him and he couldn't do that, he could never do that because if he ever looked away, He would destroy him.  
  
Hands fell softly onto his shoulders, fingers crawling, creeping, feather light, barely there, like a million spider legs. An unpleasant shiver crawled up Yugi's back, his throat constricted, a sharp pang of fear squeezed his chest and once again he was aware that he was still awake. This was a game, He liked games, He liked competition and He liked t crush it under his feet. This is what He would do, this slow psychological torture, He would let him fall into oblivion, sweet numbness, only to rip him out of the embrace of darkness and remind him what pain felt like.  
  
Those hands, so agonizingly soft, he didn't want Him to touch him and at the same time he craved it, he craved His touch like life, but like it was with life, Yugi wanted oblivion, wanted to be free of life and His touch.  
  
The hands were so icy cold on his bare shoulders, He was behind him, standing over him, so threatening, he almost expected a knife in his back but that would never happened. Yugi almost wished it did, then he would get his freedom, but that was not how He worked, He would never release him, it was too easy, too merciful, He didn't know mercy.  
  
Yugi's back felt exposed, he didn't trust Him at his back but he was helpless to stop Him and He knew it. Light, like a butterfly, one hand rose and fell, fingers on the back of his neck, stroking a light trail down along his spine, barely touching, so deceivingly light.  
  
Yugi's mind screamed not to give in, he couldn't let himself give in, not again, but as he was thinking that, his body had other ideas. Soft lips parted lightly, eyes widened, he was so afraid. Yugi's mind was telling him that it wasn't Him that was killing him, it was his own fear, but the fear was stronger then his reason.  
  
Yugi wanted to run, his mind screamed run, but he stayed. Never, he couldn't run, He would never chase him, but he still couldn't run. It was far too below Him to chase the likes of him, but it didn't matter, he came here by himself, He didn't call him, he crawled back here on his own.  
  
And even if he ran, he knew that he could never get away, wherever he went, He would be there with him, wherever he ran, He would follow, he could see Him everywhere, feel Him. It didn't matter where he was, how fast he ran, how far he got, He would always better him, He would always be there, watching him, following him, He was like a shadow, darkness that follows you everywhere, darkness that you can not loose because loosing your shadow would be loosing your whole substance. Without Him, he was nothing and he knew it, He knew it too.  
  
Will was such an important thing, will was something he didn't have and He knew it, He would always win, always crush him and he would always run back to Him, back into His cruel embrace, back to those cold hands, those terrifying caresses, back to His chilling voice.  
  
That voice, His voice, it was deep and smooth, it screamed sex, power and deception. It was fake, dirty, low and still beautiful. It captured like a flame captures a fly, so attractive until you flew right into it and it destroyed you, like fire, it warmed until you got too close and got burnt.  
  
This was Yugi's whole life, He was Yugi's whole life, he loved Him, his demon, his dark angel, the darkness beside him that held him in His invisible grasp, bound him with invisible chains like no other ever could.  
  
It was like this for as long as he could remember, it hasn't been that long but he could not remember anything before Him. When He came along, it was like Yugi died and with him went all the memories of the life he had before Him, now it was only him, for as long as he could remember.  
  
Violent shivers ran up Yugi's back, his lower lip started to shake, his eyes started to sparkle in the cold moonlight with unshed tears, the light could see his pain, but the light was too cold to care, He could see his pain, but He was too empty to know what caring was. So cold, so empty, those hands, they felt so hollow, it stung and burnt to be touched by such soulless hands and at the same time it numbed the self and froze the feeling.  
  
Emotionless.  
  
It hurt to be near Him, He was like an empty shell yet He could control, He could brake, He cold destroy and He could hurt like no other could.  
  
Yugi kept his blank stare on the blue wall, plain and empty and cold, just like everything here was. Eyes wide, pupils dilated, unblinking, unmoving, frozen by the frigid iciness of His stare. Like comatose, almost numb, almost oblivious, he was on the outside, but inside he was still hurting and He knew it, He would not leave him until he could no longer feel anything.  
  
Tears gathered at the edges of his eyes, overflowing the boundaries of what was aloud they fell down his pale tortured face. Deadly silence stretched pulling at his mind, He has not said a word, He was deadly silent and so was he. They were both silent and the silence pulled at his mind like a silver cord strung through his heart and pulled through, slowly, agonizingly painful.  
  
Yugi wanted to escape, he was so tired but He wouldn't let him sleep, He wouldn't let him talk, He wouldn't let him eat, move, drink, they sat like this for so long it seemed like the time has stopped and was crawling with the speed of the silver wire that was being pulled through his mind, slow agony.  
  
Yugi lost all track of time, all that mattered was the cold stare of those bright eyes piercing him, like needles with silver threads, pulled through his mind, tying knots of his thoughts until he could no longer think, just feel and hurt, going numb from his own pain.  
  
Thos eyes, Yugi could never look in them, if he ever looked in His eyes he knew that he would die inside, just like He died. Those eyes could see right into his soul, He would see right into his soul and take all that He saw away from him, he always took everything away from him. It would hurt, it already hurt, so much that he wanted to cry but his tears were useless.  
  
They were silent tears, clear and pure, like crystal. They were not marred by the dirt that was inside of him. So much pain, He said that his tears were beautiful because they were clean, completely pure. Tears were meant to wash away the pain, but his tears were not able to wash away the stains on his heart and therefore they flowed clear, untainted, unable to carry away the pain, useless.  
  
A hand snaked around Yugi's thin waist and he did not react, did not jump, did not pull away. Only his soul shrank away from the empty darkness and the cold. Another hand crawled up his chest, long fingers curled around his neck, so gently, so deceiving, they could crush his throat in an instance, and they could spare him, they could cause pain and they could cause pleasure, but it always hurt because He didn't care which one it was. Pain or pleasure were alike for Him.  
  
A bit of moonlight caught in Yugi's clear tear and a hand moved to cup the side of his face, his head was tilted back, his throat exposed, his slender frame pressed against the man behind him, His strong built, hard like granite, cold like ice, sharp like steel, void like space.  
  
Pain and fear gripped Yugi's chest, letting go only to grip again until he looses track of how many times he has been hurt and the difference between pleasure and pain becomes so vague that he can't tell them apart. Yugi wanted to cry when he smiled, he wanted to scream when he laughed, he wanted to fall when he flew, he chose hell over heaven, he chose darkness even though he was blind.  
  
Light was too sharp, too bright, too real, this was more like a dream, a nightmare not real and comforting in its oblivion.  
  
Long cold fingers smeared the clean tears, soiling them, poisoning them, poisoning him, like venom that spreads through you with the help of your own heart, killing you with every beat. Like cancer that infests, takes over, grows and consumes until there is no more of you, only Him. Suffocating until all your senses are so abused that they become numb to the pain and you feel no more.  
  
Empty.  
  
Snaking over his body the hands lifted lightly like they were never there only to fall back just as lightly on his shoulders once again, back where they started. This is how He always did it, He would hurt him, break him, then mend him only to break him again until there was nothing left to break or to mend and all there was left of him was a void of lost emotions. So light.  
  
Searing pain gripped his shoulders like a burst of light in the darkness, waking him, fingers gripped his shoulders so strong he thought they were going to snap his bones, shatter them so easily and he craved it because this was real. The chill that he felt on his bare back when His body was lifted away from him was real.  
  
Violet eyes fell closed, the pain was gone, the hands were lifted and he felt empty again. Alone in the darkness with only the lingering ache to comfort him, to remind him that he was still alive.  
  
Fingers toyed with his hair, he sat straight, like a doll, like a good little pet, but he was so tired, his body was so drained, he couldn't even force himself to open his eyes, his mind too blank to know that he was not supposed to close them. Oblivion, sweet oblivion, it was so close. So tired, his head was starting to fall, he could not support it's weight, and at the same time he felt lightheaded, he like he was going to faint, he wished he did. Face lowered, head down, it was threatening to never rise again, wanting to sleep, afraid to fall because he might never get up again.  
  
Footsteps around him, so loud in the silence of the large room. Violet eyes pried open with effort blankly staring at the black marble floor, the cold moon reflecting of it's shiny surface. So dark, so cold, just like He was.  
  
Lids were sliding shut despite his minds protest, despite that He was still watching, he couldn't go on, he was falling. Light fingers tipped his chin up lifting his heavy head, he couldn't open his eyes, he couldn't look at Him.  
  
Cool lips covered his mouth, an empty kiss, so cold it hurt. Every touch, every gesture was hollow, empty, shallow.  
  
Void.  
  
Nothingness, he was nothing, he meant nothing, empty, just an empty space to Him, but then again He was just as empty too.  
  
Hands gripping his shoulders, pulling him closer, the kiss deepening, yet he felt nothing, beyond the touch, beyond the senses, there was nothing.  
  
Empty.  
  
CRACK!  
  
Yugis head was snapped the other way, another cheek bruised and hurting and again he said nothing. Violet eyes opened and froze wide, hypnotized. Staring into His eyes, bottomless, intense, piercing, sharp and empty, so cold, so frozen, so hard.  
  
Will those eyes ever cry? Will the ice in them ever melt, where will it go? There would be so many tears because there would be so much ice melting. It that ever happened, His tears would be the purest of all because there was nothing for those tears to wash away, He was empty.  
  
"Are you afraid?" voice smooth, cold and inviting, like sleep when you know you are freezing to death, it was so inviting to fall asleep and never wake up, forever in the white bleak oblivion.  
  
"Yes." When did his voice become so empty, he felt nothing, he only knew that he was afraid, he could no longer feel it.  
  
"Do you hate me?"  
  
Pain, if one could only know how much that question hurt. Hate, how can you hate nothing? How can you hate something that had no substance? You could not hate an emptiness, you could only hate the pain that it caused, and because he couldn't hate him he loved him instead and it hurt.  
  
Pain.  
  
"No."  
  
"I love you, you are free." Simple words sounded like a lie coming from Him, after all the pain, love seemed like a lie, but He wasn't lying, He had no reason to lie, love was pain and it hurt, His love hurt, but not now, now he was really free because he could not feel, he was so numb.  
  
Without another word Yugi collapsed forward eyes closing on his way, he fell into His arms and let the darkness consume him, sweet oblivion.  
  
"You are free for now." repeated the man as He cradeled the small broken frame in his arms and stood up lifting him up effortlessly and holding him up to the pale cold light of the moon. 


End file.
